he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Randomize
