i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am available for nakedness
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
