You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
40s are totally the cure
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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