I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i out mim tonsoeep
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
