so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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