oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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