I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Also, beer. Big fan.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
