i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
