I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
