his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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