Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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