I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
