drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
