my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
