I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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