party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
