MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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