Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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