I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
