I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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