so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
