did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
