and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Who died my cat blue again?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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