Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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