I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
