I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I am naked and annoyed.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
