I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
