I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
