i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
