Tell her she can't have a vagina
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
