just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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