Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
