I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
