either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
