Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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