Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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