It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
