Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
