I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
