I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
