Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
