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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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