Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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