This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
