The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
