i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
