Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
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