thus making me awesome and them whores
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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