I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
