I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
