How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
