Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
