And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
