That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
True strength comes from lack of pants
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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